10 Pint Movies: ALIEN SCI-FI HORROR

Altered (2012)

We don't like welders round here bub

Plot: Out in the swamps Cody (fully Fucking mental), Duke & Otis, 3 drunken Hillbilly dribblers are hunting something big, they're hyped up but shitting it whatever it is its dangerous by the look of the crappy, mental, homemade harpoon they're using.

Poor fuckers were Anally Probed by the them or something (15 years ago) I'm not sure how old they are now and so how inappropriate the A.P'ng was. Along with their (no longer) buddy Wyatt and Cody's brother (who must have been AP'd to death). Cody took the hit for his brothers death and has been in prison probably engaging in some more forced A.P'ng which would explain why he's such a bell-end.

Shitting it they turn up at Wyatt's fortified compound of a house, paranoid fucker it seems. He's not happy, not sure wether its the impromptu reunion or the fact they turned up with a vicious, chained up alien, wearing a welders mask, that buggered them when they were younger, and not some beer.

You one UGLY mother fucker

The Alien has psychic powers taking control of Wyatt's girlfriend and generally being a bothersome house guest.

It inevitably escapes causing mayhem in a confined space, death, entrails everywhere & a rotting disease if it bites you. Could they really capture something so powerful, or did it do it to uncover Wyatt who knows far more about the alien than anyone else. Will anyone make it out alive does Wyatt have gnarly powers of his own. Even if they could kill it would they want to as the aliens may say fuck it and wipe out humanity.

Whats that coming out of the Bath is it a monster...Is it a Monster

Is it good: Yes, A nice cool little movie from one of the The Blair Witch guys. the acting is fine (If a little over the top and hard to bear at times by Cody, however the alien encounter may have ruined all there lives but his most all). The film has a dark comedy edge throughout the first half hour but it does not take this too far. The welders mask was useful in 3 ways it was funny, to the story hiding its eyes, its ability to make a psychic contact and to hide the ropy costume when the room is too bright. On the alien costume its well made and effective (lighting permitting) The Gore effects are decent including the flesh eating disease and the ideas in the movie are bright and inventive. In the build up to the end the film intensifies with Wyatt understanding his true part in it all.

Turdige: Cody may be a little too annoying for some in an overacting frenzy If you rely on CGI and believe Transformers is the pinnacle of alien filmolity errr fuck you.

Overall: Nicely placed reverse Alien abduction, hillbillies save the world Horror Sci Fi. Don't come along often defiantly worth a watch. Cool, violent, gory and a great story.