Riddick (2013) Update

Riddick 

13 years ago David Twohy brought us the excellent Mid budget Sci Fi Pitch Black (2000) and along with it a new Anti hero in Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel).  

Unfortunately 4 years later he gave us the much bigger budget The Chronicles of Riddick (2004) and with it the Necromongers the Necroverse and various other Necrobollocks.

Hopefully Mr Twohy will sack that shit off 

From what I have read looks like a cross between Pitch Black (back on a supposed desolate planet with killer aliens and the best parts of  Chronicles the mercenary stalking. 

Also starring - Karl Urban, Jordi Molla, Matt Nable, Katee Sackhoff, Bokeem Woodbine, Dave Bautista, Conrad Pla, Raoul Trujillo, Nolan Funk and Keri Hilson. 



Teaser

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=101898

VIDEO GAME MOVIES

The king of fighters (2010)

Plot:  Something about an alternate dimension were people go to have a rumble.   Plot we don't need no stinking plot just a set up for some fighting.  Rugal (Ray Park) aims to do devious bollocks to gain power, changing the rules and becoming king of that dimension, poisoning our own.    Mai Shiranui (Maggie Q),  Kyo Kusanagi (Sean Faris) and  Iori Yagami (Will Yun Lee) are the only ones who can stand in his way, plus some CIA dude who turns out to be Mai's partner s shes undercover for some reason and wearing a hat helps............. Oh Ive lost the plot.

Is it good: No, Even by video game adaptations this is bad but it had potential,  The film had a budget, named action stars like Maggie Q & Sean Faris plus Darth Maul himself Ray Park.
 The CGI effects are not that bad.  The action is choreographed well (if a little slow) and some nice moves put in. 

The opening scene Maggie Q's game character is reviled as the, incredibly short mini skirted with suspenders, Mai (awesome).  Plus the other fighting chicks are pretty hot.

 Will Yun Lee actually looks like a computer generated character.

Turdige: A confusing pretty pointless plot.  This does not in itself spoil an action movie (pretty much expected as plots are not a regulatory requirement) but it spends far too much time trying to indulging in it.  

The end were most of the action takes place is confusingly & boring rather than just a Good V Evil battle.

Bizarrely in the flash back scene Sean Faris was Asian when he was younger.  Now he looks like a cross between a young Tom Cruise (needing a shit) and Jay from the Inbetweeners. 

These tournament/martial arts movies should be easy to make get a bunch of kick ass fighters with killer moves, do some basic pointing "look this guy is good these guys are evil" (or just make them look good/evil)  set them in a tournament together with an objective to win (world will end or something weird like kidnap an elephant The Protector (2005)) and spend an hour of the movie just fighting, that's what people who go to these movies want to see. 



Overall:   Worth a look if your only other option is the next Adam Sandler atrocity.  Watch Tekken (2011), Mortal Kombat (1995), or even Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) & DOA: Dead or Alive (2006) instead.  On a brighter note its not House of the Dead (2003) bad.

 Director: Gordon Chan Cast: Ray Park, Maggie Q, Sean Faris, Will Yun Lee, David Leitch

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Slice em up - Slasher Movies

Venom (2005)


Plot: A car accident that leads to the death of a Voodoo priestess who's unfortunately just dug up & is trying to transport (for a reason never revealed) a suitcase full of sucked out evil souls in the form of dodgy CGI snakes.  She is pointlessly saved from her car dangling over the side of a bridge (Since she dies anyway) by big redneck trucker Ray (Rick Cramer) as he attempts to retrieve the suitcase the car falls into the swamp and Ray drowns while being bitten by the snakes.

The town seems to consist be lacking in people, only a rapper Method Man (Deputy Turner) a few Jailbait scrubbers Patty (Davetta Sherwood) and Tammy (Bijou Phillips), Rays bastard son Sean (D.J. Cotrona), some cock, Ricky (Pawel Szajda) and at first glance the heroes of the film CeCe (Meagan Good) as the voodoo granddaughter, Rachel (Laura Ramsey) a wannabe doctor who wants out of the town and Eric (Jonathan Jackson) the dude Rachael has just dumped in order to fuck off from the swampy shithole. 


From that you can probably work out the order they die, or you could if this wasn’t a slasher with a difference.  Ray returns from the grave a super voodoo  powered zombie fuck, able to kill cocky teenagers with a single twatting of a crowbar.  Filled with the power of 13 evil souls can the kids stay alive long enough,  if only there was a guy called Gerald to battle Voodoo Ray (madchester joke).   

Not that Venom

Is it good: Yes, at first look and the plot above you would be mental to watch this shit but it works?  It helps if you’re a slasher fan like me obviously, but it does have an accessible feel to the movie much like the 90s slasher films Scream (1996) and I know what you did last summer (1997) Kevin Williamson writer/producer & Director  Jim Gillespie were involved in those films. 

or that Venom

For a pretty unknown straight to DVD film it has high production values none of your found footage shaky cam crap.

Venom has a decent level of gore, some inventive deaths, the acting is ok and the introduction of a new villain is always good.

I did like the way it wasn’t just a slasher but added the supernatural element in to make Ray seem unstoppable and the use of the truck as a weapon, great stuff. 

The using someone as a makeshift voodoo doll was brilliant but they could have made it really messy to get the most out of it.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Turdige: Not exactly a brutal slasher, the movie is too polished, cleaned up for the teen market, not an unrated video nasty like the early 80s slashers.  So the gore level, which lets face it, is the big draw in a supernatural slasher flick is lacking.

Screaming that will help

Also why the fuck when Ray was hit or shot did he keep doing a reverse star jump, weird.  The film was absolutely panned by critics and an 8% rating on rotten tomatoes is not good so I could be wrong, but what the fuck do they know

Overall:   On the whole a basic by the numbers slasher but with a supernatural voodoo twist thrown in for a bit of variety.   

Director: Jim Gillespie Cast: Agnes Bruckner, Jonathan Jackson, Meagan Good, Bijou Phillips, Method Man

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NOT YOUR USUAL SPLATTER FEST

Babysitter Wanted (2008)

Plot: Angie (Sarah Thompson) a naive, seemingly innocent, religious newbie collage girl, has some challenges ahead not only is her roommate a stoner, slacker, waster, whore who seems to have lost her bed.  She has picked up a big lump of a stalker within hours of being a student.    

A girl has gone missing so Angie is nervous of the mysterious attention but some reassurance from the police and a new fella put her slightly at ease.  

Needing some cash but not wanting to whore herself out like her roommate (thats purely speculation), she picks up an add for Babysitter Wanted (coincidence its what the film is called).  

The family seem nice with a shy kid but the house is remote, a ranch in the middle of nowhere and when the parents leave for the night the noises and phone calls begin.  Is it the hulking, scarred stalking stranger or is there a more sinister/supernatural plot underway. 

10 years younger, extreme edition

Is it good:  Yes, Not your average everyday slasher/splatter film.  A little deviation from the classic rules, which is always good to see.  Its the story/plot that sets it apart, the atmosphere, not the production values, gore which are all low budget.  The acting is pretty good Sarah Thompson (Who Ive only ever seen as Eve in Angel about 10 years ago) is pretty convincing as the innocent 18 year old collage girl (even though she was about 30 at the time) turned ass kicker.  Also Bruce Thomas, he plays it like Bruce Campbell lite. (He did play a mini Ash in Army of Darkness (1992) so it must have gone to his head).   

Scruffy bitch

The film took me by surprise.  I watched it on a freeview channel on a Tuesday night so expect some cheesy TV thriller so was happy to see it could be a slasher film I had not heard of.  The plot took a route that made the film quite gripping too watch.   It also had some good dark humor which was a nice touch, the killers conversation with the gagged victim is weirdly brilliant like he was at a family BBQ.

Turdige: The film is low budget but even so the gore level could have been much better.  Its impressive its action and execution but the flesh looks plastic and most of it is off screen.

As Ive bigged the film up please don't be expecting to watch a genius unknown Halloween or you'll be pissed off.    

The phone calls make no sense???? Please explain?? 
 
Overall:   A pretty good low budget splatter movie with a twist, a bigger budget and more conviction in the action it could have been great (maybe)  Well worth watching. 

 Directors: Jonas Barnes, Michael Manasseri Cast: Sarah Thompson, Bruce Thomas, Tina Houtz, Nana Visitor, Jillian Schmitz,Matt Dallas 





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